In the never ending quest to determine boob size, Kpopalypse is back with the third big boobs in k-pop post! Several new busty entrants in k-pop have appeared, plus there are still many existing idols who have not been covered. Come on another journey into (or perhaps between) the breasts of your favourite Korean idols! Be warned – this post is bigger than Qri’s implants, so it might lag a little on slower devices, like netizens’ brains. Proceed with caution! Boobs will be assessed as per the usual criteria from previous lists: Size – the apparent “pearly volume” of the subject. E factor – enhancement using “mechanical” means – padding, push-up bras, layering, clever clothing choices etc. PS factor – enhancement using medical means. Also, Photoshop enhancement – the “other PS”. Fanservice – the willingness of the subject to portray her boobs in a positive light… or indeed any light. Something that is never experienced by the senses could be said to theoretically not exist. Likewise, a boob that is never displayed may require deep scientific investigation into its presence in the physical world to determine if it in fact exists. A daunting task for even the most seasoned boobs-physicist but one which Kpopalypse is prepared for. All boobs are then given a final score for fapability, a combination of all the essential above elements. Bigger size and better fanservice generally increases fapability, bigger E and PS factor generally decreases fapability. I collected suggestions from ask.fm for any k-pop girls I had missed previous and got a ton of responses, there’s no way I can include everyone you asked for (there were literally hundreds of suggestions), but I’m not trying to cover every idol in every group ever, just the ones that I feel would be of greatest concern to boob fappers. Also, I’m only covering active artists – I won’t cover actresses, dance groups with no songs of their own etc and I won’t cover anyone who used to make music but now does not. Many singers have already been covered by Kpopalypse, so if your favourite is missing from this list, check part 1 and part 2 to see is she has already been covered before writing me that essay on how I neglected your fave. These lists are not intended to be “complete” and never will be, as boobs in k-pop is an ongoing, ever-evolving concern, all I can do is try to cover the main bases (mainly second base). Let’s start this list off with an important update: QRI (T-ara) I normally never revisit people for this list a second time (so don’t ask me to do this for anyone else) but there’s no question that Qri has been rocking some enhanced volume since her inclusion on my previous list. Did she get prettier? More than likely. Early T-ara videos show virtually no Qri boobage at all, whereas recent videos show lots of Qri boobage and no jiggle whatsoever. While generally I prefer natural boobs and I don’t recommend that people get surgery, how can I not appreciate the effort and high determination levels that Qri has to ascend in my fapability list ranking? Qri is also quite keen to show off her newfound assets and often wears clothes to suit. This type of effort should be duly rewarded. Jimin (AOA) Is Jimin really busty, or is she just really fucking short? It’s well known that short people tend to look curvier because of the height-to-boob ratios (an illusion often exploited by the porn industry). Well, she’s quite short as we know, but she’s actually taller than the notoriously well-endowed Sunny from Girls’ Generation. Are Sunny’s boobs an illusion? Doubtful. Jimin definitely isn’t busty but her proportions overall mean that she’s curvy enough for her height for some fap to happen – on top of this, she’s pretty good about consistently wearing flattering clothing that accentuates what she’s got to work with. Seolhyun (AOA) We all know that Seolhyun’s ass meets required standards of Kpopalypse readers, but what about her boobs? I suspect that Seolhyun and Jimin are actually about equal bustiness, but Seolhyun just has more height. Fortunately, both are the beneficiary of their agency’s continual commitment to providing outstanding fanservice, so Seolhyun’s boobs are always being displayed in the most flattering manner possible. Choa (AOA) It’s fair to say that Choa carries the cans in AOA. Furthermore she always looks well-endowed, whether in official promo shots, selcas or paparazzi/fan photos, a sure sign of genuine boobage. When determining boobs, consistency is key. Minimal variance between boob size in different settings usually means the real deal, because while plenty of girls pad and get shopped, few girls pad and get shopped all the time by exactly the same amount, so odd variances will creep in. Not so with Choa who has a consistent upper-body image. On top of that Choa is always dressing outstandingly. Truly a poster girl for the cause of k-pop boob appreciation. Kyungri (Nine Muses) People have been sad because I haven’t covered anyone in Nine Muses in these posts yet. Time to fix! Kyungri does all that lingerie modelling, so you know she’s busty – they don’t consistently hire people for that type of work without a reason. However let’s not get carried away, she’s not all that busty, she’s just got good proportions and is great at presentation. Also, lingerie modelling always gets shopped to fuck and back without exception. Moon Hyuna (Nine Muses) Moon Hyuna from Nine Muses has broad shoulders which is always a big boobs tipoff – girls with naturally large breasts tend to also have a wide shoulder span. Mind you the above photo is fairly obviously shopped so don’t be fooled by the cleavage. This photo here gives a much more accurate indication of true size, which isn’t super-busty but she’s still in the upper echelon of idols when it comes to boobs. I used to go out with a girl who had this type of frame and looked pretty much like this with a shirt and a bra underneath, so I reckon I now know what Moon Hyuna looks like naked too. Sungah (Nine Muses) Sungah doesn’t quite have the bustiness of her groupmates but she’s not too far behind. I mean sure, she looks busty here but magazine lingerie shoots are a pretty intense shop-fest. Still she probably wouldn’t have even got hired for Maxim and shit if she didn’t have some tits so willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Eunsol (Bambino) The first of the nugus for this post, this inclusion was a no-brainer. Dance group turned idol group Bambino recently made the transition to performing original material and are swiftly being carried out of nugu territory between Eunsol’s ample tits. Their “adult-oriented dance-group” origins make Bambino more willing to push the envelope than other more conservative idol groups, and therefore the type of fanservice that most of these groups reserve for special occasions is something that Bambino wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at. No-one’s ever seen them jiggle though, but maybe it’s just as well, it might be too much for us to take. If you’re a heterosexual guy who hasn’t blown his load in a day or two and you don’t immediately want to stop reading this stupid post and start fapping to this image, I suggest you see your doctor about hormone replacement therapy. Hadam (Bambino) Hadam isn’t the bustiest girl on the block, especially when that same block has Eunsol next door, but Hadam has been gaining attention from those k-pop fans and general fancap fappers who not only like boobs but also appreciate highly toned physiques. Most idols are fit as a fiddle anyway but Hadam takes physical fitness to another level that even gym junkies like Clara and Eunjung would struggle to match. Watch her at this link picking up and carrying not one but two other members of her group at the same time. A bit of muscle tone also increases bustiness because the boobs have muscular support. Just don’t fap to her without her permission, because she’ll fight you – and win. Momo (Twice) Twice are such a new group at this point that it’s hard to judge individual members at this stage because not enough quality material exists. However Momo has come to the attention of boob aficionados as a person to watch for now and into 2016. Almost everyone in Twice was suggested for this post but Momo was the only name that kept repeatedly coming up. She certainly shows signs of genuine bustiness but it’s early days yet, we might have to wait for Twice’s upcoming hooker concept to investigate further. Alexandra (Rania) Rania’s newest entrant is a black American called Alexandra and apparently that’s a big deal for some of you, for reasons that I’m yet to figure out or care about. However it can’t be denied that black Americans tend to have bigger boobs on average than Koreans, so this fact could be relevant to this post yet. Unfortunately we’ve only got a few probably heavily shopped promo photos to go off at this stage, plus a comeback performance where she pretty much wore a glitter tent, here she is below getting styled in preparation for that performance: It’s worth mentioning though that even in her Bedazzled hip-hop rags it was clear enough that she definitely had some boobs, however further data needs to be uncovered before any accurate judgements can be made. This is always the danger when people suggest someone who has only just debuted. You can’t assess fap without a reasonable-sized quantity of fap material. Jei (Fiestar) Not many people even noticed Jei from Fiestar initially, but her profile suddenly shot up when Fiestar started embracing some more adult concepts, and even more so thanks to Maxim Korea. It’s hard to tell how much cheating is going on or how real they are, but non-modelling shots also display a significant amount of curve, suggesting that Jei might be legit and not be padding overly, although she definitely does get some significant undergarment help. I’ve never seen much independent boob movement however, and her boobs are suspiciously round and perky in situations where one wouldn’t expect, suggesting that Jei’s chest may have turned 20 a while back. Yezi (Fiestar) Yezi’s boobs aren’t as big as Jei’s but she has the advantage of near-certain boob naturalness. Fake boobs struggle to squish in supple ways as depicted above without some kind of seam appearing where the implant ends and the boob begins. She’s wearing pretty light layers too so there’s probably little stacking and padding going on. Yezi’s boobs are formidable and weighty enough to keep groupmate Linzy securely pinned to the mattress in the above picture. Linzy might have to suck on them to deflate them a little so she can get out of there. Hwasa – Mamamoo I was surprised that quite a few people mentioned Hwasa’s name for this list. Hwasa’s thighs are well known amongst k-pop fans as the gold standard right now for k-pop thigh flesh, but what about her boobs? Hwasa’s got that kind of body where most of the meat has gravitated towards the lower half. This is of course good for those who like thighs and booty, but it also means she’s relatively light on boob volume. Some bras and general boostage help out a bit but the above braless photo gives the game away. Hwasa generally has to pad up to make an impression in the top half, but that’s okay. Most people I think are looking lower down than that anyway. Solar (Mamamoo) Solar isn’t that busty either. She does have a bit of curve for sure, but every trick in the book has been used to create the illusion of large tits in the photo above, including push-up, the arms-at-sides pushing-in business and even the famous Hwayoung-patented twin-bra technique. When Solar isn’t padding it massively, she looks like in the photo above. I know Mamamoo are kind of flavour of the month right now, but it’s not wise to suggest unbusty people for these lists, even if you like them or they’re popular. I’ll just mark them down and then you’ll be upset at me, and I won’t care. A form-fitting dress also gives ample opportunity to insert pads and double-bra it. Nobody is Mamamoo is really that busty though, they just know how to work with what they’ve got. Seoyoung (Hello Venus) Here’s another pick from you folks that I didn’t quite get. Sure, she looks great above but that bulge is about 50% bra. I don’t think she’s that busty at all, I think it’s the combination of a tiny frame and push-up factor giving that illusion. There’s not much there even with the bra on in this case so she’s probably padding as well. At least with Hello Venus finally ditching the kiddy concepts and going to something a bit more adult, she still looks the part. Nara (Hello Venus) Nara from Hello Venus has got a bit more volume. Of course anyone can look like they have big tits when they squeeze their boobs together with their arms, but at least there’s something there to squeeze in this case. Nara also is clearly able to fill out those “Wiggle Wiggle” costumes with something other than fabric and underwire. It’s also quite an achievement that she looks busty given her height, she’s the tallest in the group and tall girls are always at a disadvantage when it comes to giving a busty impression in photos and videos. That’s why models are tall but pornstars are short. KittiB Speaking of short, some of you mentioned KittiB, the rapper who has had some fame with Unpretty Rapstar lately. She seems to have some nice boobs but she also seems to be really fucking short. Use the wine glass in the photo above for size perspective, either that glass is fucking huge or she’s a dwarf. Notice how all the camera angles are from slightly above, that’s because the person with the camera is always taller than her. Still, who can say no to a bit of dwarf sex? She’s pretty cute in this photo. I would take her to the Shire and bang her in Frodo’s bed while he’s out getting the ring or whatever. Jace (Miss $) One rapper from Unpretty Rapstar that I thought everyone would mention for inclusion in this post but nobody did was Jace, who has always had massive jugs. She’s pretty good about always wearing stuff that accentuates her already-big boobs, too. Hell, in her latest videos she can’t even do half of the usual lame hip-hop arm movements other rappers do because her huge tits are in the way. This is the closest the Korean rap world has to Puer Kim as far as I’m aware. Sure she might be pushing up a bit but holy shit what if she’s not… Soyoon (Pocket Girls) Race-queen concept group Pocket Girls made a splash around the world when Soyoon got the girls out in this amazing top, but the fact is that just about anybody would look busty wearing that outfit. Notice how twin bras is actually integrated into the costume design. The “whatever it is you call that black thing” thing also provides some extra bustiness effect. Let’s take a closer look. This outfit definitely meets required standards, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Soyoon isn’t quite as busty as she appears. Suyeon (Pocket Girls) I was sad when SeA left Pocket Girls (who isn’t covered here because I don’t cover ex-members who aren’t active in music). SeA definitely had the biggest boobs and I always thought she was unfairly overshadowed by Soyoon just because of the luck of the fancam lottery. This sadness of missing SeA lasted for precisely as long as until I found out about her replacement. Suyeon achieves all of the bustiness of Soyoon but with only half the props. Mind you these photos probably are heavily shopped. She’s out busting almost everyone in k-pop and she hasn’t even done anything yet except dance to the greatest song in the world. Let’s give Suyeon our support! Yubin (Wonder Girls) Yubin was suggested by many and probably made an impression thanks to The Wonder Girls’ latest 80’s-themed comeback, but anyone could look well-endowed in clothing like that. Those bulges could be anything. Yubin is a bit more convincing away from the videos, selcas and candid shots all show a consistent amount of boobage. One thing we definitely can be sure of is that even though Yubin isn’t the bustiest girl out there, she definitely didn’t get prettier – her drum solo thing for Reboot is such a jiggle-fest that it’s amazing a stray boob didn’t pop out and give her a black eye. Yenny/YeEun (Wonder Girls) Yenny was also suggested a lot but I’m not sure why, she’s really not that busty, I’m pretty sure you guys are just fans. This picture pretty much laid it on the line, and even this level of boob is optimistic as it’s an official promo shot and they’re almost always shopped to make the boobs look bigger, plus it’s black and white which always helps increase boob depth perception. At least I hope featuring her satisfied you folks, it’s clear that her boobs have some fans, even though it’s not that clear to me why. Look at the picture above – JYP knows what you’re thinking, he knows nobody will even know about her mini-album if he doesn’t put the text right there. Hyoeun (Stellar) Hyoeun has recently upped her cleavage game since the last boobs post where I passed her over in favour of Minhee even though I find Hyoeun way hotter. I’m pretty sure Minhee still has the bigger boobs but Hyoeun is nevertheless very presentable, and often wears clothes that help her rise to the occasion. How sad does she look here. Please fap to her, and make Hyoeun smile again. Also someone find me a version of this picture without text in front of it thanks. Jeonyul (Stellar) On the other hand I don’t find Jeonyul attractive at all, but Kpopalypse gives boob credit where boob credit is due. She’s fit though, although I guess what k-pop idol isn’t. I also think she pads a lot, her boobs are generally pretty firmly encased in something. I don’t know what the fuck is in that bag but it’s not as mysterious as what’s stuffed down her bra. Still they look okay and I’m never going to get to feel them anyway and neither are you so what does it matter really. Nahyun (Sonamoo) Nahyun from Sonamoo was a surprise nomination for me. This official promo picture could be heavily shopped as most are so let’s look at some more candid pics. She looks good here but once again it’s the powerful deployment of stripes that is carrying most of the busty impression here. Put her in clothes more than 1cm thick and those boobs vanish with barely a trace. Sorry but the busty princess is in another castle. Newsun (Sonamoo) Newsun is definitely the boobiest girl that Sonamoo has got, but even she’s not all that. Just because you happen to like a certain group doesn’t mean that they have much boob. It doesn’t seem to take much more than a clingy top or a school uniform to fool some of you folks. I’ve taken enough girls’ clothes off to know that Newsun isn’t that busty although she’s probably still bustier than all those girls form Red Velvet and Twice who were puzzlingly nominated for this post but which could never possibly get in because I don’t like giving fapability scores lower than 3. Narsha (Brown Eyed Girls) Frequently overshadowed by Gain (who was covered in the previous boobs post) does Narsha have what it takes to shine on her own? Okay so she might looks like someone from Exo here but she has some boobs. However I don’t think she’s really in Gain’s league. Mind you Gain has so much push-up going on that even Gain probably isn’t in Gain’s league. This underwear modeling shot shows the patented “left boob trick” (patent pending: Hyosung) and even then there’s not all that much volume, even with the benefit of fairly obvious shopping. She still beats many nominees however. Nicole (KARA) While glute-waving has never been wanting in KARA, upper-body fanservice has always been lacking in the group, which is a shame as Nicole probably has some decent boobs. The problem is that we’ll probably never get to find out for sure because she keeps wearing shit like this. I could have used more recent photos where she’s upped the cleavage-display a tiny fraction, but I always thought short-hair Nicole looked best. We all know she’s got boobs anyway. Park Jimin (15&) All you single heterosexual guys have got that one cool female friend who is super fucking hot as fuck, and that you would absolutely lick the clitoris of until her pussy juices creamed all over your face in a hot minute. However that will never happen and you know it, because you’re not her type – she’s always hanging out with and/or lusting publicly on her SNS over guys who are completely different to you in every way. You’re not an angst-ridden MRA-grade asshole about it though, in fact you’re quite at peace with it – you’re a mature, emotionally secure man who doesn’t make a fuss if girls don’t like you and you know that there’s other fish in the sea, plus there’s always your right hand which hasn’t failed you yet. “I’ll never have her, so I’ll just fap to her pics instead” you think to yourself, but she’s one step ahead of you – her Instagram is a strict no-fap zone. Every single photo of her is just her pulling silly/ugly faces on purpose, or pictures of her food or sunsets or her relatives or some other bullshit that nobody cares about. You’re not sure if she just thinks she’s not that pretty, or if she does it deliberately to annoy you, but you’re surely not that important to her so it’s probably the first one. There’s always a subtle-yet-detectable edge of melancholic “I calmly accept that I’m a bit chubby and I ain’t all that hot” angst in her posts and it really burns you because you’ve spent the last six months draining your balls to the thought of sticking your dick in between her fat rolls. Sometimes you want to tell her how much you like her, not because you think you have a chance with her (you definitely don’t – and that’s cool), but you wonder if the knowledge that some guy was crazy over her appearance alone would make her feel a bit better about herself. You’d like it, just for her sake, if she was able to cast aside society’s bullshit expectations of women enough to the point where she could realise that she is actually smoking hot, at least to some guys, at least to guys like you. However you can’t really be open about this to her – there’s a high risk that she’d probably take it the wrong way, like as if you were trying to pick up on her. That would be a logical assumption on her part, but it’d also be incorrect. You don’t want to do that (well, you do, but you can’t, so you won’t), you just want her to feel good about herself. One day you arrange to meet her and when you see her you think about waiting for the right moment and saying something about it… but you watch her disinterested expression that clearly isn’t excited to see you in any way beyond “he’s a guy I know and he’s a little weird but he’s okay I guess as long as he doesn’t get too close to me” and you quickly think better of it. Why complicate her life with your bullshit. It’s probably better to just shut your fucking mouth. Taeyeon (Girls’ Generation) Some time ago, Anti Kpop-Fangirl author and intrepid boob-explorer Zaku created a post where he alerted the k-pop community to a black chasm underneath Taeyeon’s boobs. Here the black chasm is contained safely in industrial-strength clothing. However, an historic moment has occurred and Kpopalypse is now going to use the Large Hardon Collider to shoot light molecules into the chasm between Taeyeon’s boobs and illuminate the darkness therein. There is much nervousness in the scientific community as well as the k-pop fapping community about this. Some speculate that a failed experiment could mean the end of the boobverse, but you can’t halt the march of technology. It’s time to fire the machine up.
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